Relationship Problems – Is There An Unpardonable Sin?

Anyone that has ever been in a relationship of any kind knows that every relationship has problems.  That is, anyone that has any degree of intelligence.  It takes a really not so smart person to think you can sail through all of your relationships problem free.  That doesn’t happen. Not even on sitcoms and romance movies because their very plot lines center around effective problem resolution.  See? Even the greatest love story of all time caught on film would not be what it was today if it didn’t have fundamental relationship problems that propelled the story line.

Yours are going to be the same, unless you go into your relationships naively thinking there will never be a problem.  In fact, if you have a history of problem free relationships, you are doing something wrong.   Solving problems together with someone is part of what makes the best relationships work for decades at a time.

No two people are the same, and even two people that are extraordinarily similar can not live in the same house for a month without there being SOMETHING. 

That’s what makes humans so awesome.  We are all so different. 

Yes, it creates conflict, tension, and drama sometimes, but you will learn as you grow in your relationships that it is how you handle them that really counts.  Whether those relationships are with your parents, your sisters, your brothers, your peers, your friends, your employers, your employees, and even your lovers, you will have a problem at some point along the way.  When you look at your most successful relationships in those groups, you know that handling problems together rationally is probably what has held you and that person together for this amount of time.

So that being said, let’s get to today’s topic.  Relationship problems.  I’ve also asked, is there any unpardonable sin?

If I could give the one size fits all answer to solving your relationship problems in one blog post, I wouldn’t be sitting here. I would be sitting on a beach enjoying a margarita and living off of what I would make selling that secret.  Anybody would be.  That is because like the fountain of youth, that secret simply does not exist.

How you solve relationship problems with one person will be different than how you solve relationships with another.  That elusive element that we can not quantify that we call chemistry plays a big role in this.  The better your chemistry with someone, the better you will be at solving those problems together.  I am not talking about sexual chemistry, I am talking about that chemistry or that kismet so to speak when you gel with someone, they finish your sentences or they somehow seem to always know what you are thinking.  When you meet someone like this you have a natural way of solving problems with them that comes with the chemistry, your history together, and so on.

You may be doubting me on the basis that you have a problem right now with someone that you have that kind of history and chemistry with, but still can’t seem to get it together.

It happens in every relationship. 

But you did get to where you are right now with that person because you had a history of being able to communicate and problem solve together in the past.  Even if you just did it once with them, you still have that history.  Solving problems today involves going back to the times when your methods WERE working, and you were able to solve problems together. This brings us to the infamous 64 thousand dollar question.

Is there an unpardonable sin?

Every person will have a different answer to that.  If something has crossed your line of non-negotiables, or your partner’s line of non-negotiables then the answer to that is yes.  But only you or they can determine what that is.

Even so, I have seen many couples cross the line of non-negotiables, sometimes both parties at the same time, and still find their way back to each other.  How?

Chemistry.

You just can’t mess with it.  It simply can neither be created nor destroyed.   Solving your relationship problems will have a lot to do with this, and your ability to react to situations in a way that your partner would be proud of.  Here is one little secret that I can give you.  Being able to solve problems with your partner in a way that would make them proud of you is one way that you can in fact nurture that spark of chemistry and inspire it.  

Who doesn’t want to be around someone that makes them feel great, even during the bad times?

Remember, that’s why they decided to be with you in the first place.  You can’t let it all out now just because you had a fight about something. 

Remember that this person is someone that you love.  Treat them that way so that they are proud to say they know they have someone pretty awesome to get through tough times with. 

When you give that to someone, they want to give that back. Trust me.

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